Jacob, 28, kind of a writer, playing for the other team, like to pretend my boots & I are vegan.
Go ahead and ask
I read this joke in Reader’s Digest when I was kid and then I would tell all strangers when my parents weren’t around. I enjoyed how disarming a kid saying the word “testicles” in a joke was.
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
“Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy,” is the man’s response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there,” says the service guy.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions: “Now, I’m going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla’s testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him.”
The man asks, “What do I do with the shotgun?” The service guy replies, “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua.”
Physical asset: that I’m tall.
I’m only 5’11 and 3/4ths but it’s kept people from picking on me too much, I can save the day to reach out or up for something needed, etc., etc. Lankiness does not help my dancing but you can hold your drink out away from people on the floor or above their heads.
Or was that a question about which parts of my body bring the boys back?
Personality wise: optimism.
It helps during all sorts of frustrating situations and sudden life detours. Like…right now. There’s a part of me that immediately wants to go to sleep and hibernate while somehow The Universe turns my life in a direction where I feel more at ease. It’s a very “I can’t” tugging feeling. And that’s when optimism motivates me. For a little bit, Optimism wasn’t showing up until about 2PM but it’s coming earlier and earlier.
I guess I should answer questions since I asked for them. This one came from an anon over-achiever.
A - Available: Umm single ;)
B - Best Friend: 5 wonderful ladies
C - Crush: What day is it?
D - Dad’s Name: Ron
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: Those wonderful ladies
F - Favorite Food: Unsalted pistachios
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms: Worms. Love the sour edge
H - Hometown: Lewisville, TX (Dallas suburb)
I - Instrument: Bassoon, mouth trumpet
J - Job: Transcriber of recorded interviews/meetings
K - Kids: When I’m more financially independent & have found a great father for them
L - Longest Car Ride: No car ride beats the 67 hour bus trip I took for Thanksgiving from Dallas to State College, PA
M - Milk Flavor: Allergic. But there’s a peaches’n’cream soy shake mix that I’m obsessed with
N - Number of Siblings: Youngest of 6. I barely know them. They grew up with their other mothers.
O - One Wish: To get to know my siblings better.
P - Phobias: Right now I’m uncomfortable being a passenger in the car of any distracted driver.
Q - Favorite Quote: “Act with energy!” - high school band director. Anytime I’m sluggish doing anything, it pops into my head.
R - Reason to Smile: My brother is in town for the night tomorrow
S - Song You Last Heard: Theme song to “The Big C”
T - Time You Woke Up: 7:30A.M.
U - Unknown Fact About Me: That, yes, I am the neighbor who sings the rock ballads and jazz standards loudly in the hallway though I deny and say, “I that it’s the guy in the apartment behind me. I thought I could just hear him.”
V - Vegetable: Carrots
W - Worst Habits: Distraction
X - X-Rays You’ve Had: Wrist, everything associated with recent car wreck including upper body/spine a couple of times and right leg
Y - Your Favorite Pastime: Walk around the lake and forest near me while grasping for something I don’t know yet about a piece I’m working on.
Z - Zodiac Sign: Pisces. Phase III. I feel I share some traits of Aries too. Whatever the best ones are.