What DID this girl do in a past life?

Even in a show with aliens, a possessed nun, Nazis, medical experiment gone bad zombie-whats, a Buffalo Bill for the Two Thousand and Teens, and Francis Sexy Badass Death Angel Bringing This Season Out Of A Lull, at this point, the series of seriously unfrickinfortunate events of Lana Winters’ is ridicuposterous.

I laughed at every moment of her episodic torture porn after she didn’t finish the job on Dr. Screwed Beyond Up in the Kill Basement. I don’t know if I want her to own it all in the end or have some legendary end that somehow involves her being a martyr in the deciding battle of a Sister Demon-Francis Conroy tigress war that takes place while the entire asylum is being abducted for a battle between aliens and Nazi-designed, Catholic Church paid for super human zombie-whats led, no doubt, by sober Jessica Lange in a red dress on a nuke missile wielding all her whips and canes.